Quotes about Beer and Booze

- Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look
into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes
and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their
dreams would be shattered. I think, It is better to drink this beer and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Babe Ruth

- An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
   with his fools. Ernest Hemingway

- Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
   keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway

- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Paul Hornung

- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. H.L. Mencken

- When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall
   asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
   get drunk and go to heaven! George Bernard Shaw

- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin

- Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not
go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry

- I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event
such as the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still
working. Dave Barry

- Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen,
for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient
in beer.Dave Barry

- When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.
I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with
slightly over half that quantity of beer. Dave Barry

- Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c. W.C. Fields

- A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
   thank her. W.C. Fields

- What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W.C. Fields

- Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. W.C. Fields

- I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. W.C. Fields

- Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. Professor Irwin Corey

- To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can! Leo Durocher

- Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde

- I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
That's as good as they're going to feel all day. Dean Martin

- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin

- He was a wise man who invented beer. Plato

- I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. Tom Waits

- Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me. Winston Churchill

- Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire
before any of the parties in the rear get a drop. (1944) Winston Churchil

- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: -"Sir, if you were my husband, I would
   poison your drink." Winston Churchill: -"Madam, if you were my wife, I
   would drink it."

- Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Kaiser Wilhelm

- An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a
dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout (Simply Irish :-)

- Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. Homer Simpson

- The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart

- People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to
pee a lot. Capital Brewery

- I drink to make other people interesting. George Jean Nathan

- They who drink beer will think beer. Washington Irving

- You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps
if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the
very least you need a beer. Frank Zappa

- Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time
and have the time of your life. Catherine Zandonella

- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself
a pleasure. Ambrose Bierce

- One more drink and I'd be under the host. Dorothy Parker

- My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that
workouts cut into my drinking time. (A Wolverine is Eating My Leg)

- A drink a day keeps the shrink away. Edward Abbey

- Put it back in the horse! H. Allen Smith

- I think that nothing beats a well brewed beer, but given the choice, if that
was the case, I'd of course take the nothing... However, to me beer is good
food.. always better than nothing, and.. it's not just for breakfast anymore
either.

- I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended
upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts,
and beer. Abraham Lincoln

- The roots and herbs beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk,
cleareth, strengthen and quicken the sight of the eyes. Nicholas Culpeper

- I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety. Shakespear, (Henry V)

- We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong
beer is the milk of the old. Martin Luther

- Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be
considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods. Bruce Carlton

- No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef
and beer. John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough

- An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer. Confucius

- This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more
   divine means of consumption... Beer! Friar Tuck

- Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink. Whitstran Brewery sign

- The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will
   walk carefully. Russian proverb

- I got thrown out of Alcoholics Anonymous because when the other clients
saw me they thought they were having the DT's" Dave Dutton

- Health is what my friends are always drinking before they fall down. Phyllis Diller

- I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink. Joe E Lewis

- An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do. Dylan Thomas.

- To stop drinking is not at all that hard. I've done that several times in
the past. Brandulph Christophersèn

- I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without
touching a drop. Noel Coward